Preparing to Go

Written By: Jonathan Pham

“Bro, so a spot just opened up. Do you want to go?”

“What about the air fare?”

“Air fare and costs are taken care of.”

“Mind giving me some time? Give me till Monday”

“Alright”

That’s pretty much the convo in a nutshell between Dave and I concerning a return trip to Sudan. I had a fair gist of what was going on—our church was planning on sending a couple of guys who would initiate a humanitarian and spiritual outreach to the people of the Nuban Mountains. 

What I knew about the situation had been gathered from newspapers, blogs, and online videos summarizing what was going on for the past 2-3 years of genocide. What was captured in those images left me slightly disturbed—how and what would drive people to do such atrocious acts? I was glad that I was part of a body of believers who were compassionate and desired to act in response of evil. I was proud to pray and lift up those who were already supporting and financially support the cause.

However, the desire to actually go in person and to be the hands and feet of the church hadn’t manifested. Going back to Sudan hadn’t crossed my mind at all—hadn’t crossed my mind until the opportunity had been given. When I was told of the opportunity, I was both excited but reluctant. 

Is this what God really wants me to do? 

Am I being impulsive? 

What about things left back home? 

Am I well conditioned to perform the task ahead? 

The trip would take off in two weeks. This was happening so fast. Not wanting to make a rash decision, I asked for time to earnestly seek the Lord through prayer to ask Him for guidance. In my times of prayer, I started to realize that many of the things I believed disqualified me were really my own insecurities and relying on myself rather than upon Christ.  

One excuse was that I wasn’t physically fit enough to endure the strenuous demands of the trip—it is God who I should be relying for strength, do I believe He will provide it?  Another related fear was the fear of failure, and not being able to accomplish what we set out to do—God will accomplish what He ordained. 

Through prayer, God taught me that there really wasn’t any reason why I couldn’t go and that He has provided an awesome opportunity to serve Him—an opportunity that was not given to many Christians in America. My heart became excited at the thought of being used by God and the opportunity to see God actively move in a way that could be attributed to Him in this journey ahead.

In anxiety concerning danger, the Spirit spoke to me through Psalm 27 and Romans 8. 

Concerning my inadequacies in physically preparing for the trip, He spoke through Isaiah 40 and 1 Kings 18: 44-46. 

My mind was set. I was resolved to go, for the sake of Christ and His Bride.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”

Galatians 6: 9-10

Stories from the Ground: Suffering Well, Running the Race

Written By: Jonathan Pham

Today is the day where the rubber meets the road—we will be starting our 20 mile journey to a northern Nuban village where a military escort will pick us up and drive us to our final destination. We were told that the trip would take 3 to 4 hours to complete---if only it were 3 to 4 hours! When the initial trip from the refugee camp to our first checkpoint took twice as long to accomplish, we knew that this next trip would be nowhere near a walk in the park…

Got up at 0600, had breakfast, packed up, filled up our water containers, and headed out by 0845—already making our first mistake of the day: we should have left much earlier, perhaps 0730 to cover more distance under the coolness of the morning.

 The initial trek was not so bad. I even had time to observe the local biodiversity. Along the roads, we ran into soldiers and refugees, each with their own stories to tell. Then, things started to get a little hairy---especially for me. 5 to 6 miles in I started to overheat… 

 I used to think that God blessed me with such a rapid metabolism that would burn food as rapidly as I consumed it-- key word being “burn”. The oatmeal with protein powder, coupled with energy bars for breakfast provided me enormous amounts of energy while causing me to dehydrate. I began to rapidly drain my water reserves in an attempt to meet my metabolic demands and cool off. Carrying a 70 lbs backpack didn’t help the situation at all. Sweat from my body immediately evaporated as soon as it was produced. I couldn’t feel any coolness that the sweat had to offer, just heat. 

Mud from the roads would give way, causing my boots to become heavy with clinging mud. Personal panic mode activated around 4-5 hours into the trip, I succeeded in draining all of my water reserves and there wasn’t a borehole in sight. 

Worst case scenario situations started to play through my head---how can I prevent this situation? What can I do to retain water within my body? I allowed my mind to entertain these thoughts for a moment until I was reminded of my Heavenly Father—what purpose am I here for? Why am I experiencing this? My mind drifted towards the Gospel. Could it be possible that what I am experiencing now may be used to identify with the Nubans? Could God use this brief and light (I emphasize light) affliction to allow me to experience a taste of what they had to go through daily? Could this possibly be a small glimpse of what Christ has done for our behalf? These people were performing the burdensome task of carrying heavy goods such as wheat, rice, iron pots, and even beds over the same distances and paths that we, kuwahjahs (white people) were struggling in, and they were doing so while malnourished with such grace and strength. God has truly strengthened these people to live life as necessary.

By the grace of God we managed to reach a borehole which we aptly named “Jacob’s Well” which was situated within one of the mountains there. We asked a soldier how far was our transit destination. He replied 4 km. We refilled our water reserves and then we decided to take a break. 

Despite God allowing us to exhaust all our energy reserves, He gifted us with a spirit of understanding, humility and unity, allowing us to bear each others burdens which involved foot blisters, water shortages, grime, and body odor with minimal complaining if any. I learned much from my brothers during this walk—Jacob revealed himself to be a father figure of the trip, always looking for our member’s concern (especially mine). George was a man who was acknowledged as neither full Nuban nor Kuwahjah, something that we jested about for the remainder of the trip. John revealed to be very into kung-fu and insisting that he was African to every single Nuban he encountered (I’m not sure if they bought into it). David was the humble realist, always reminding us to keep the eternal, Godly perspective at all times. And of course, there’s me, —the “stereotypical” push over who likes to throw a verbal/physical left hook once in a while, just to keep things interesting.

The last trek from the borehole to our pickup destination turned out to be the most difficult. We took about an hour break to regain our energy and set off in the hot afternoon sun. Did I mention that it was hot? I don’t think I could emphasize that quite enough. The sun was at an angle that made shade formation difficult. I started to overheat again, drinking lots of water. 4 kilometers? Really? At this point, the other guys were beginning to overheat as well. Whereas initially in the first half of the journey, we took about 3 half an hour breaks, we ended up taking 3-4 breaks within a few hours of our second half. I think we started to get delirious and our thinking began to become irrational. Despite all this, we never lashed out at each other, and encouraged each other to persevere and carry on.  

It wouldn’t be until around 1730 when our group reached the check point. A 3 to 4 hour hike? Perhaps if you were Nuban. Looking back, God did deliver us, and gave us the strength to accomplish what He desired of us, removing any vestiges of self reliance so that when we arrived, we were completely exhausted (quite the antithesis of the American charging in a huge truck to save/change the world), with the added bonus of protecting us every single step along the way.