Preparing to Go

Written By: Jonathan Pham

“Bro, so a spot just opened up. Do you want to go?”

“What about the air fare?”

“Air fare and costs are taken care of.”

“Mind giving me some time? Give me till Monday”

“Alright”

That’s pretty much the convo in a nutshell between Dave and I concerning a return trip to Sudan. I had a fair gist of what was going on—our church was planning on sending a couple of guys who would initiate a humanitarian and spiritual outreach to the people of the Nuban Mountains. 

What I knew about the situation had been gathered from newspapers, blogs, and online videos summarizing what was going on for the past 2-3 years of genocide. What was captured in those images left me slightly disturbed—how and what would drive people to do such atrocious acts? I was glad that I was part of a body of believers who were compassionate and desired to act in response of evil. I was proud to pray and lift up those who were already supporting and financially support the cause.

However, the desire to actually go in person and to be the hands and feet of the church hadn’t manifested. Going back to Sudan hadn’t crossed my mind at all—hadn’t crossed my mind until the opportunity had been given. When I was told of the opportunity, I was both excited but reluctant. 

Is this what God really wants me to do? 

Am I being impulsive? 

What about things left back home? 

Am I well conditioned to perform the task ahead? 

The trip would take off in two weeks. This was happening so fast. Not wanting to make a rash decision, I asked for time to earnestly seek the Lord through prayer to ask Him for guidance. In my times of prayer, I started to realize that many of the things I believed disqualified me were really my own insecurities and relying on myself rather than upon Christ.  

One excuse was that I wasn’t physically fit enough to endure the strenuous demands of the trip—it is God who I should be relying for strength, do I believe He will provide it?  Another related fear was the fear of failure, and not being able to accomplish what we set out to do—God will accomplish what He ordained. 

Through prayer, God taught me that there really wasn’t any reason why I couldn’t go and that He has provided an awesome opportunity to serve Him—an opportunity that was not given to many Christians in America. My heart became excited at the thought of being used by God and the opportunity to see God actively move in a way that could be attributed to Him in this journey ahead.

In anxiety concerning danger, the Spirit spoke to me through Psalm 27 and Romans 8. 

Concerning my inadequacies in physically preparing for the trip, He spoke through Isaiah 40 and 1 Kings 18: 44-46. 

My mind was set. I was resolved to go, for the sake of Christ and His Bride.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”

Galatians 6: 9-10